Closure and now.... Reopening!

Like so many others we have been closed since March. New studio open for just 6 months and then we have to close the doors to the studio due to a frightening pandemic. I realize how much time and energy it took to figure out how to get us off the ground and continuously improve things for everyone. I wish the the pandemic closure gave me time, but it really meant different things called for my time and attention, so laterally move in busyness.

The first 4 months I found the emotional steam to offer some community yoga via video, though I can’t offer the same thing in community yoga that I can in the studio. I don’t mean props and individual attention, though I missed those things also, but I mean the nature of the work itself. I long ago learned that to align with the core ethics of yoga itself I can’t simply offer intermediate and advancing work to community populations who may or may not have facility in yoga. My first job is to invite and include with physical yoga. What does that all mean? It can mean a few different things: first, that I do not present the same things in settings like virtual yoga done with a 1-way view and with community populations such as the library and goat yoga classes—Ahimsa. Always non-harming. I can teach crow… but I can’t ethically offer it to someone without knowing their background and/or without my guidance when in truth we can create a rich yoga experience in a multitude of ways! Why go for something that has a level of risk that isn’t necessary to create a whole yoga class in those sort of settings? Headstand, shoulder stand, anything that requires individual propping—those come right off the table for me if I can’t see individual students. Those sort of things I will only teach in the studio with the right time and environment.

While some students may love “big” expressive poses, the other truth is, if someone for whom that is true can’t move through practices without those particular expressions and be whole, we would be served be time spent with non-grasping (Aparigraha). It’s hard to hear when we have had fulfilling asana practices that suit our personal likes, but I will say it anyway; discipline sometimes comes in the form of restraint. What happens if I don’t practice the second option of that pose—will that restraint shine a light on my motivation? Let’s look at it this way; if you always take side crow after twisted chair, and then during a certain practice you *Gasp!* don’t take side crow…. what happens? This practice of restraint, a practice of assessing any habits allows us to assess how, or if they serve us. You could find less sensation of blood pressure in the head from skipping side crow on those days you also ran or maybe didn’t sleep enough. And maybe other days when you have extra fire to burn, it’s just the thing. Maybe it drives you to find additional poses that fire up the same muscles and feeling, but you otherwise wouldn’t have looked for those poses. Maybe you feel better in your body when you let that pose go, though it was wonderful in your body when you initially approached it years ago. Any number of things could be uncovered. But if we always only do the things we have always done out of habit we miss crucial learning opportunities and risk ignoring Svadyaya (self study) on the mat. Once in a while when I see students clearly eager for only the hard work I cue us to throw the breaks on a bit. Useful realizations can move into our awareness when we pause and review. Flow is a genuinely beautiful practice. It is. If we are only in our yoga while in a physical flow of asana…. are we really in yoga in that moment? If we find crabbiness during a demo, how is the practice integrating in a lasting, permeating way? Can you stay in the fullness of yoga’s deepest gift if you are asked not to do your favorite pose or if you have to pause in the midst of moving energy?

For me the closure of the studio was not unlike this. It didn’t learn to knit, thrive happily each day, and relish in the time at home, but I did find my way through fear. Through uncertainty. Through hope. Through a host of emotions and a brain that was scrambling to get ahold of each new day and the news it brought. I had the chance to ‘pan out’ and assess my own yoga practice on the macro and micro levels. And like those classes where a teacher does not cue the pose you wanted or cue the way you most prefer, or stops to educate on something that will make your asana more sustainable, I was reminded to loosen my grip. I don’t claim these lessons always enjoyable, but the hope is that the things that are cultivate bring us good things in the long-run. The hope is that the gift of self-study is not lost on us even through our rotating thoughts, moods, and experiences. This is an opportune moment in time to come to the mat with a freedom from ruts and rigidity and explore the whole sensation of working deeply while letting go.

I’ll meet you on the mat.